Being in Love

It’s that time of year when shadows lengthen as the day quickly fades away while producing chilly nights.  Soon we will be waking to frost covered grass with a nip in the air while gusty winds hasten to strip the trees of their varied colored leaves.  The evenings lengthen providing opportunity for reflection on yesteryears with the many twists and turns of past journeys of the Wayfarer.  Fond memories of year’s eve are recalled with its unique seasonings which enhance the rich flavors of one’s existence.

The most endearing time of autumn is when you fall in love.  To say that springtime is the time for romance may be true, but what better time than fall to relish the hours spent with the delight of your life.  Taking a walk through rustling leaves on paths or cuddling before the fire on a chilly night; reminiscing on the times shared or dreaming together the anticipated joys of tomorrow.  What more can warm the heart than these moments in life?  Is this love? 

Each relationship is unique, though there are many similarities in feelings and reason, fluctuating in intensity from individual to individual.   The onset of such desires strike when hormones come into existence among adolescents.  “What’s this feeling come over me when I look at her?”  Thus commences the journey into bliss that blinds us to everything about us.  The pulse races, stomach churns while the body breaks into a sweat and light-headedness has taken over.  All reason goes out the window leaving one senseless.  “She is definitely the one for me to spend the rest of my life with.  No one else on earth can ever possibly thrill me as much as she does.”

The reverie lingers only briefly as we sort through the confusion that has fleeced us of understanding and reason.  In due course our footing stabilizes as we press forward with some normalcy of life.  At this juncture new focus sets in as we ponder the question of love, being cognizant of the desire to have Mr. or Miss “right” to cherish our life together.  Thoughts of marriage occupy our waking moments for, “I know she will make me happy because she’s an angel – pure heaven on earth.”  (Can’t help but interject in jest from the song that she’s just a devil in disguise.)

Thoughts of being happy together dominate the cerebral cortex like nothing before.  For many nothing else matters except to live happily ever after, with little to no understanding what that means.  All the delusions that plague the mind in moments of elation too often lead us down the wrong path that brings anything but pleasure.  The safeguards that have been set in place are veiled behind the wall constructed by “pure imagination.”  As the saying goes hind sight is 20/20 vision but totally lacking in the present.  With maturity comes understanding that love is more than an emotional rush or moments of thrills and chills.

It cannot be stressed enough the importance to break through the walls of “pure imagination”, putting aside the emotional rush, and wade through the hazy fog to find reason and understanding.  Somewhere in there reality exists for our discovery, which must be applied to the present state of our being.  The reality that no one can make another person happy; the reality the thrills and chills are but fleeting moments in time; the reality that love comes by reasoned choices; the reality we may not be the perfect choice for the other; the reality that we don’t know the other person as much as we think.  There are many other realities which come to light over the path of time causing us to pause in determining the correct choices that must be made.

How many relationships are entered into when hormones kick in, leaving their impact on the psyche and emotions?  The feelings of bliss clouding sound reason is never adequate for developing loving relationships, for love must be based on more than this.  Unfortunately there are no guarantees right choices will be made even after careful consideration and thought has been given to the process.  This makes love difficult as neither emotional rushes nor reasoned judgments will necessarily result in the desired outcome.  It does no good to look back and say, “If only I had done this or that it would have turned out all right.”  Of course we can learn from reflections on the past but we can only move forward as we apply what has been learned.

There must be balance between emotions and sound reasoning in order to develop a bond of love in any relationship.  Love without bliss and ecstasy would be boring and love without reason and sound judgment would be chaotic at best.  Be not hasty in acting on matters of the heart but add a mix of understanding and reason before making the leap.

Here’s hoping the remainder of this autumn finds you enjoying the pleasures of love, seasoned with understanding and reason.  Take time to reflect on autumns of yesteryear while enjoying the camaraderie of your true love.  Shalom.